SOAP 12/22/2015; Proverbs 5:18-19

Today's reading: John 12, 13, 14*

S) "¹⁸ Let your fountain be blessed,
And rejoice in the wife of your youth.
¹⁹ As a loving hind and a graceful doe,
Let her breasts satisfy you at all times;
Be exhilarated always with her love."

Proverbs 5:18-19 (NASB)
*because there are already entries for each of these chapters, I also read Proverbs 5

O) Solomon was teaching here, likely from his own experiences with the folly of adultery (and polygamy). This entire chapter is a warning about adultery, and the pain, poverty, sickness, and eventual death that comes from sexual immorality. Then, for the last third of the chapter, Solomon turned from warning to encouragement (and knowing the life of Solomon, we can almost hear his regret through his words). The solution he presented to his son, was to not simply avoid the adulteress, but to cling to his wife. He presented sexuality in the image of a fountain or a cistern (vv.15-18), which is where he became a little more direct with his instruction. The point he is making in this passage, is that by his son making his wife his only desire (rejoice in the wife of his youth), he will protect himself from temptation. It is also notable that Solomon said "Let her breasts satisfy..." (emphasis added), which is to imply that his wife will satisfy him if he doesn't do anything to jeopardize this. That is to say, his actions and behaviors can either let her satisfy his desire, or it can stand in the way of her being able to satisfy his desire. Finally, he tells his son to "Be exhilarated..." Which is a peculiar sounding instruction. So many times, we assume our emotional reactions to things are innate. We assume that we have no conscious impact on our emotions, but the Bible consistently paints a different picture. While our emotional reaction is often thoughtless, it is not at all unpredictable, unchangeable, or unaccountable.

A) One of the most important lessons to draw from this, is that attraction is a choice. If it wasn't, then Solomon's instructions here wouldn't make any sense. The real question, is how do I affect my attractions? For one thing, I must guard my eyes and what I allow myself to see (and not just see, but dwell). Because of media using sexuality in advertising, capitalism using it to sell, the world taking what should be holy intimacy and making it profane, normalizing public sexuality and making it shameless (emphasis on the "public" aspect), and finally because of the enemy of my soul... temptation is everywhere. It really is. I must recognize that battle is endless, and I must keep my eyes trained to what I really want: my own wife. That's the first step in protecting my attraction. The second step is to choose. That sounds weird, but the truth is that I chose which football team to like. The 49ers exhilarate me because I have made them my favorite. I chose which sports car to like. Watching Corvettes race exhilarates me because I have made them my favorite. I read about my favorite football team almost everyday. I spent countless hours researching Corvettes, learning development histories, racing histories, drivers and project managers. I learned the subtle changes they went through from year to year (and a few notable, not so subtle changes). I use these two examples because, while they have had their share of successes, they have not always been the best. Like, factually, by many many measures, they have had terrible stretches with a lack of quantifiable goodness. Even in the late 90s, Corvettes were my favorites. Even in the early 00s, the 49ers were still my favorites. I chose to be attracted to them. I wasn't faking my fandom, I was choosing. These same principles apply to my marriage, to my wife, only at a much more profound level. She must be my favorite woman in the world. That cannot be lip service. Thankfully, by the grace of God, choosing my wife has not ever been hard, per se. Still, my level of commitment to that choice has varied. But, the more I make the deliberate choice to make her my favorite, the more I appreciate the beauty in her changes as the years go by (some subtle, some not so subtle). The more I choose to make her my favorite, the more interested I am in reading everything she writes, no matter how benign. The more I choose to make her my favorite, the more exhilarated I am when I see here. I'll never get tired or bored with watching 49ers games, no matter how terrible they are (like this 2015 season). They are my favorite team. I'll never think it's boring to see a Corvette from the dashboard cam of a racecar, no matter how many laps back it is. It's my favorite. I'll never get tired of my wife, of my marriage, as long as I am choosing (by will and by actions) to make my wife my favorite.

P) Father, Your goodness to me is not more clear, than it is in my marriage. I am so, so thankful for the blessing it has been. I see so many people struggle in their marriages, up against tough circumstances and/or consequences. You have spared me those trials, so far in my life, and I am thankful for that. I pray that it's Your will that I never have to face struggles in my marriage. I pray that I am doing everything I should do, to protect my marriage and preserve this gift You have given to me. Help me to keep my wife as my favorite, forever. Discipline me to keep my fountain blessed, to rejoice in my wife, to be satisfied by her body alone, and to be exhilarated by her love. Thank you. In Jesus's name I pray. Amen.