S) "1 Now we who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without strength and not just please ourselves. 2 Each of us is to please his neighbor for his good, to his edification. 3 For even Christ did not please Himself; but as it is written, 'The reproaches of those who reproached You fell on Me.'"
Romans 15:1-3 (NASB)
O) This concept is within the command Jesus gave, that we ought to love our neighbors as ourselves. In that sense, this concept should not be news to most Christians. Certainly, as Paul says in v.1, to any "strong" Christian, this should be the easily accepted norm of their lives. However, as common as this teaching should be, and as easily as we can see that Christ served His disciples (and indeed the whole world), the way Paul breaks this down practically, leaves little room for interpretation in the command Jesus gave in the first. After all, who can decide what is "loving" toward our neighbors? But, in v.2 Paul makes the case that our goal is to please our neighbor. When it is put in this clear, unmistakable context, it can make people more than a little uncomfortable. It cannot be left only with the statement to "please his neighbor," though. Paul says that it must also be for his good, to his edification. So, if my neighbor wants to do something sinful, I am not commanded to help him with that. If my neighbor wants to do something that is going to hurt them, or is foolish (i.e., not edifying), then I am not obligated to help them.
A) Being transparent in this journaling is going to make it the most effective, both for myself here and now, but also for anyone interested in my experiences (if, by God's grace, my life can be used to help others and glorify God). So, being honest about it, this verse makes me very uncomfortable. The idea of living my life with a completely selfless goal of pleasing others, and not pleasing myself, is... un-American. It's certainly not what the world would have me do. In our consumer-capitalism, everything I hear is about some form of hedonism. While I think it is okay to take pleasure in what I do (whether that is something for God or for others, or even for entertainment), whether or not I enjoy something should never be the motivating factor in my behavior. The simple truth is that I am not my own. It is not up to me to seek out my will. I am not sovereign, I belong to Christ. As His subject, I am declaring allegiance to His Kingdom. As such, I am obligated by that subjugation, to obey His Way. So, when I have my mind correctly oriented to this truth, then I can begin seeing my marriage correctly as opportunities to serve God by seeking to please my wife. I can begin seeing my fatherhood correctly as opportunities to serve God by seeking to please my kids. Honestly, that is uncomfortable to my sinful, selfish heart. I can begin seeing my friendships, my work relationships, all of this life, as opportunities to serve God by seeking to please others, and not to please myself. To put this in a practical life circumstance: what if, before I turn on my videogame, I asked everyone in my family if there is something I can do for them? My flesh is screaming about that, "Will I ever get to play videogames again, then?!" But, if anything, that is proof-positive that this is the right way; this is God's way. My approach must be one of humility, that I realize I have something to offer people. Sure, there are other Christians who are "stronger" than me, but that doesn't free me from my obligation to those who are, in fact, "weaker" than me, including but not limited to my own family. This should be, perhaps, what it means to me when I hear the hyped phrase, "Family First."
P) Father, You are righteous in all of Your ways, including Your command of my life. I confess to the selfishness I now see, because of the clarity and conviction of Your Word. Forgive me of this sin, God. I am not my own, I confess that. I declare that I am Your servant, and it is Your right to command me. Receive all honor and glory, by my obedience, Lord God. Thank You for the grace at work in me, that You would continue to discipline me and sharpen me and shape me, into the man You designed me to be. Please continue Your work within me, from my heart outward until I am glorified with Christ at the Resurrection. Let Your will be done, and let me seek to please others instead of myself. In Jesus's name I pray. Amen.
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