S) "19 'And,' said the women, 'when we were burning sacrifices to the queen of heaven and were pouring out drink offerings to her, was it without our husbands that we made for her sacrificial cakes in her image and poured out drink offerings to her?'"
Jeremiah 44:19 (NASB)
O) Without a doubt, the women were guilty of their own sins, but this verse is a sort of echo, or shadow, of man and woman in the first sin. There is an inherent weakness in men, to lead wives badly. Certainly, there are exceptional husbands, but as we saw with Adam and Eve, and we see echoed here, the issue of men failing to lead in righteousness is a problem of biblical proportions on a historic scale. In the verse above, these women were pointing out that their husbands were with them in their sinning. Now, in the context of this chapter, and the greater narrative of the exile, it seems likely that these women were looking for someone to share in their guilt so that their own punishment would be lessened. Or, at least, we can safely say that they were not bringing up this point because of their concern for God's statutes. To be sure, there is no blame-shifting with God. He is a perfect judge, and cannot be fooled. So, the inherent warnings of this verse are twofold. To the women: there will be no relenting on the basis of shared guilt. To the husbands: the failure is dual, because they also were idolatrous, and they also failed to lead.
A) Everybody being guilty, does not lesson my guilt by comparison. God does not grade on a curve. Furthermore, as the head of my wife, it is my duty and responsibility to lead her. Having said that, I know that I have a propensity to enable my wife toward undisciplined behavior. I use that term, "undisciplined" because I don't always think it's necessarily sinful behaviors, but perhaps missed opportunities for growth, or just foolish decisions. Still, in those moments, if I am convicted to step up, to lead her in disciplined behavior, and I ignore those convictions, then I am guilty of disobedience to the Holy Spirit, I think. So, maybe she asks if we can go buy something, when I know it's unwise based on our budget. I must have the confidence (in God's lead, in my wife's obedience, in my own responsibility) to make the wise decision. I have a hard time telling my wife "no," but she deserves a godly husband, not just a good husband. This topic isn't even new to my marriage, Kristin and I have talked about this in the past, but it continues to be an area of weakness. From buying cookies, to going to bed without praying together, to staying up too late… whatever it is, I must allow God to lead me, so I can lead her. The craziest thing is, I have such an honorable and obedient wife! This woman, my beloved, she followed me to Redding, CA. If I don't have confidence that she will follow my lead in our self-discipline (and I say "our self-" because we are one flesh), if I am not sure about her submission to my God-given authority, then I truly am a fool.
P) Father, You are holy and I desire to be holy. I desire for my marriage to be holy. Lead me, so that I can lead my wife. Let me follow the convictions You already put in my spirit. I need more discipline to walk in obedience, God. I need to be obedient to Your Word, and I need to obey when You are promoting me to step up to my responsibilities in leading my wife. I love my wife with unbridled passion, but I also need to love her with self-control. Take away my laziness, and my procrastination, and my arrogance, and my idolatry, Forgive me for these sins, Lord. In my repentance, help me forge new habits, new disciplines, a new normal. Be glorified in my marriage, and let Your will be done. In Jesus's name I pray. Amen.
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