S) "14 But if her husband indeed says nothing to her from day to day, then he confirms all her vows or all her obligations which are on her; he has confirmed them, because he said nothing to her on the day he heard them."
Numbers 30:14 (NASB)
O) On the one hand, this seems like an outdated, controlling, and chauvinistic passage. On the surface, it says husbands can veto the decisions of their wives. However, looking a little deeper, we can see two significant points. First, this is a safety net for wives. The ideal is that her husband will respect and understand her, to know the potential value of whatever vow she has made. So, then it's a blessing to her, so that she can confidently make vows, knowing that her husband is covering her with an added protection. Second, this is a warning for husbands. One of the greatest sins that traps men is inaction. Going all the way back to Adam, man's refusal to step up to a responsibility has gotten him in all sorts of troubles, especially when it pertains to his wife making decisions without him. Unfortunately, it's often times the failing of a husband that even prompts his wife to take action without him, in the first place.
A) In our society, there is no such law to allow me to veto something my wife does. I mean, lots of stores have return policies, but that's not the same thing. If my wife signs a contract of some kind, I cannot simply find out about it and go negate the contract. However, in my marriage, my wife understands that no one has a more vested interest in her wellbeing than I do. She also understands that I am held ultimately responsible for the wellbeing of my family. So, with proper communication, she can bring things to me that she knows are a good idea, ahead of time, knowing that I will give it full consideration (since she also knows what I think of her intelligence, research, and decision making). We can hash things out ahead of time. Even though God puts a supernatural authority on me as her spiritual head (Ephesians 5:23), I also respect her enough to give her the same consideration, bringing to her the things I want, so we can discuss them ahead of time. As for the warning, I need to heed this example by having an active interest in my wife's desires and interests. I need to proactively involve myself in her decisions by genuinely caring about the things she likes, seeks, or wants.
A) In our society, there is no such law to allow me to veto something my wife does. I mean, lots of stores have return policies, but that's not the same thing. If my wife signs a contract of some kind, I cannot simply find out about it and go negate the contract. However, in my marriage, my wife understands that no one has a more vested interest in her wellbeing than I do. She also understands that I am held ultimately responsible for the wellbeing of my family. So, with proper communication, she can bring things to me that she knows are a good idea, ahead of time, knowing that I will give it full consideration (since she also knows what I think of her intelligence, research, and decision making). We can hash things out ahead of time. Even though God puts a supernatural authority on me as her spiritual head (Ephesians 5:23), I also respect her enough to give her the same consideration, bringing to her the things I want, so we can discuss them ahead of time. As for the warning, I need to heed this example by having an active interest in my wife's desires and interests. I need to proactively involve myself in her decisions by genuinely caring about the things she likes, seeks, or wants.
P) Father, continue to make me into an effective, loving, responsible husband. I want to be obedient to You, as a husband, first because of Your authority, then, because it blesses me, and also, because my wife should have such a husband as You have called me to be. Continue to give me a heart that desires to know her more and more. Help me be a man of action for my wife. In Jesus's name I pray. Amen.
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