S ) "5 When his armor bearer saw that Saul was dead, he also fell on his sword and died with him."
1 Samuel 31:5 (NASB)
O) Saul was a walking dead man, in a lot of ways. He had already lost his kingdom to David because of his disobedience. Then, he made the grave mistake of consulting a necromancer to speak with the spirit of the dead prophet Samuel. It was only a matter of time, but his spiral of sin, disobedience, and destruction, carried right on through his life, past his final minutes, as we read in the verse above. Saul was afraid of his enemy, and afraid of things worse than death. He made this plainly known to his armor bearer, and asked the poor man to kill his king. This put the soldier in a terrible position. His armor bearer was probably already afraid for his own life, but willing to lay it down in service to his king. By seeing his king so desperate, he had the added pressure of being asked to lay down his own life, and the life of his king. Then, after the man refused, Saul succumbed to his own fears, killing himself. His bad leadership cost him his kingdom, then his sons, then his own life, then the life of his armor bearer after he himself had already died.
A) God has given me leadership by position, with my wife and my kids, let alone any other people I may lead throughout my life. I am a steward of that leadership position. Even just focusing on my family, I need to remember that I lead by example, whether that is a good example or a bad example. They will have a tendency to follow my example either way. When I am afraid, they will tend to be afraid. How I respond to that fear is how they will likely respond to that fear. This is true for other emotions, too, even positive ones that are much more pleasant. How I respond to joy (like celebration and thanksgiving), how I respond to anger (hostility or isolation); how I respond to life is how I am leading them. The fallacy of the phrase, "leading by example," is the idea that there is any other option. I will always be leading by example, but what example I am setting makes all the difference.
P) Father, Your leadership and fatherhood are the perfect example. I need Your help, following Your lead, so that I can set a correct example for those I am leading. Give me clarity, to remember that every example I set is an example in leadership. Help me to remember that this is the way Jesus led the first disciples, and that this is in fact the only way to lead. Jesus followed Your lead, Father, and that is how He set the example for His disciples to follow, and that includes me here and now. I confess that this can be overwhelming, because that can feel like a lot of pressure on me. When my position of leadership feels overwhelming, Lord, help me to remember that this is all based on what You do through me. So, remind me to seek You first, and to lean on the Holy Spirit for strength, perseverance, wisdom, and the outcome of my leadership. Be glorified in my life, as I lead the best I can. Thank You for Your continuing grace in my life. In Jesus's name I pray. Amen.
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