S) "7 You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered."
1 Peter 3:7 (NASB)
Disclaimer: Okay, so I was debating whether or not to choose this verse because this is such a public medium. Even though my blog will probably never be anywhere near as popular as my favorite blog, http://www.stuffchristianslike.net/, this can still be a volatile topic. But, the fact that this concept is so misunderstood is the very reason I decided to write about it.
O) Please hear me out! As a Christian, we have to believe in order. We have to believe in hierarchy, too. God wants structure and, in order for any ministry or effort to function properly and succeed, some one has to be in charge. If everyone is embracing their place/role with honor, integrity, righteousness, humility, and honesty, everything runs smoothly. A family is no different. Physically and spiritually speaking, men are built to be stronger than women. Are there exceptions? Of course; however, across the board, this is by design.
In the exceptions, you find women who have worked hard to reach their maximum potential and you have men who have done literally nothing to strengthen themselves. This is true physically and spiritually. With equal effort, men come out stronger and there is a purpose behind that (more in a bit).
Now, the balance here, the safety plan to keep things in check, is the warning that ends this verse. "Show her honor as a fellow heir" means that a wife is, by no means, a second-class citizen. She is not a lesser person, for her comparative weakness. In fact, if any man treats his wife as if she is less of a citizen in the Kingdom of God, or essentially, less of a person, then he should, by no means, expect his prayers to be answered! In other words, God will not accept that kind of behavior!
Now, these two concepts work together for the purpose of this passage. God wants us to realize that wives need our strength spiritually every bit as much as they ever might need it physically.
In today's world, I think this need is missed. The first reason is that I'm not physically fighting to protect my wife and family. The most that my wife needs my physical strength is for opening jars and driving on long road trips. So it's easy to take the difference for granted. The second reason this point is missed is that the feminist movement swung so far, that it became taboo to admit any differences between men and women. Stronger does not mean better, but it's still true. Men are stronger than women, but not better, and it's okay to admit that even if it's not popular with certain, very vocal, groups of people. There are other factors that make it easy to forget that men are stronger physically, but the effect is that we forget we are stronger spiritually. Along that same line, we forget that, while our physically strength is not as needed in today's world, our spiritual strength has never been so important.
A) So, the key is relating to my wife. The easiest way for me to do this, I think, is to relate to how I feel with the people who have authority over me. So, how would I like my pastors to lead me, to deal with me, to protect me, etc. This is the equivalent of understanding my wife's position. I need to remind myself that she's relying on me and that's exactly how God designed us both. I need to find comfort in that design and remember that fulfilling that purpose will bring peace, prosperity, protection, life, joy, and every other blessing to me personally, to my marriage, and to my family. And obviously, I need to heed the warning in this verse. Thankfully, though, that hasn't been difficult.
P) Father, help me honor my wife. I want my marriage to glorify You and fulfill the purpose and design You authored in us. Holy Spirit, reveal to me where I have fallen short in this task. Strengthen me and give me courage and boldness to take the lead in my home. Remind me that my wife and kids are depending on me to be strong. Help me to exercise spiritually, so that, when my strength is needed it is proven to be more than sufficient. Any abilities, strengths, or skills are only by Your grace, God, so help me take what You've given me and help me build on that, with You. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.
O) Please hear me out! As a Christian, we have to believe in order. We have to believe in hierarchy, too. God wants structure and, in order for any ministry or effort to function properly and succeed, some one has to be in charge. If everyone is embracing their place/role with honor, integrity, righteousness, humility, and honesty, everything runs smoothly. A family is no different. Physically and spiritually speaking, men are built to be stronger than women. Are there exceptions? Of course; however, across the board, this is by design.
In the exceptions, you find women who have worked hard to reach their maximum potential and you have men who have done literally nothing to strengthen themselves. This is true physically and spiritually. With equal effort, men come out stronger and there is a purpose behind that (more in a bit).
Now, the balance here, the safety plan to keep things in check, is the warning that ends this verse. "Show her honor as a fellow heir" means that a wife is, by no means, a second-class citizen. She is not a lesser person, for her comparative weakness. In fact, if any man treats his wife as if she is less of a citizen in the Kingdom of God, or essentially, less of a person, then he should, by no means, expect his prayers to be answered! In other words, God will not accept that kind of behavior!
Now, these two concepts work together for the purpose of this passage. God wants us to realize that wives need our strength spiritually every bit as much as they ever might need it physically.
In today's world, I think this need is missed. The first reason is that I'm not physically fighting to protect my wife and family. The most that my wife needs my physical strength is for opening jars and driving on long road trips. So it's easy to take the difference for granted. The second reason this point is missed is that the feminist movement swung so far, that it became taboo to admit any differences between men and women. Stronger does not mean better, but it's still true. Men are stronger than women, but not better, and it's okay to admit that even if it's not popular with certain, very vocal, groups of people. There are other factors that make it easy to forget that men are stronger physically, but the effect is that we forget we are stronger spiritually. Along that same line, we forget that, while our physically strength is not as needed in today's world, our spiritual strength has never been so important.
A) So, the key is relating to my wife. The easiest way for me to do this, I think, is to relate to how I feel with the people who have authority over me. So, how would I like my pastors to lead me, to deal with me, to protect me, etc. This is the equivalent of understanding my wife's position. I need to remind myself that she's relying on me and that's exactly how God designed us both. I need to find comfort in that design and remember that fulfilling that purpose will bring peace, prosperity, protection, life, joy, and every other blessing to me personally, to my marriage, and to my family. And obviously, I need to heed the warning in this verse. Thankfully, though, that hasn't been difficult.
P) Father, help me honor my wife. I want my marriage to glorify You and fulfill the purpose and design You authored in us. Holy Spirit, reveal to me where I have fallen short in this task. Strengthen me and give me courage and boldness to take the lead in my home. Remind me that my wife and kids are depending on me to be strong. Help me to exercise spiritually, so that, when my strength is needed it is proven to be more than sufficient. Any abilities, strengths, or skills are only by Your grace, God, so help me take what You've given me and help me build on that, with You. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.
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