SOAP 04/25/2016; Song of Solomon 3:4-5

Today's reading: 1 Samuel 30, 31; 1 Chronicles 10; Matthew 12*

S) "⁴ Scarcely had I left them
When I found him whom my soul loves;
I held on to him and would not let him go
Until I had brought him to my mother’s house,
And into the room of her who conceived me.

⁵ I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem,
By the gazelles or by the hinds of the field,
That you will not arouse or awaken my love
Until she pleases."

Song of Solomon 3:4-5 (NASB)
*because there are already entries for each of these chapters, I also read Song of Solomon 3

O) This chapter starts with the bride's obsession with Solomon, losing sleep, and searching throughout the city to find him. Some of the city watchmen found her, and she asked them for help, just before these verses. Many times, I have heard v.5 (and its mirror in SoS 2:7 and 8:4) used to describe physical desires. There are many dangers, spiritual and physical of sex before wedlock. One issue is that it will liven desires that were not previously known (really known). While v.5 could certainly be put in that context, that's not really where we find it. In this context, this all seems to be before the actual wedding day, and before the consummation of their wedding. So, it seems the root of this obsession, so to speak, is not necessarily physical.
 

A) From my own experience, and in talking to many teenagers about this, the danger that is spoken here is really about an emotional overreach. When I was a teenager, my mom tried to warn me about becoming enmeshed, but I didn't really understand what she meant. I might have had deaf ears, or maybe she wasn't explaining it very well. Whatever the case, this is a point I really need to teach my own children. There is a very real danger in being too committed to a person, before marriage. This is just as true spiritually (i.e., emotionally) as it is physically. Just as there is beautiful celebration in the physical intimacy of marriage, there is beautiful celebration in the spiritual intimacy of marriage. The bonds of marriage provide a security and assurance that emotional, spiritual, physical investment is safe and protected. Not only that, but just like physical intimacy creates bonds, spiritual intimacy creates bonds, too. The danger in both when they are outside of marriage, is that the bond has no security, no protection, and when it is inevitably broken, the damage is severe. I must find ways to communicate this, to teach this, to my kids before they become enmeshed in relationships. Otherwise, there is a very real danger that they will rush to get married when they should not, trying to protect intimacy investments they have already made too deep.

P) Father, this was a hard lesson for me, and it certainly falls into the area where I want to teach my kids from my own mistakes. You kept me in grace, despite my mistakes, and You gave me mercy and brought me healing, but that is a long road. I know that my kids will make mistakes, but there are still some I hope they will not make. Please give me wisdom, so I can properly teach my kids. Help me to convey biblical truth to them, that they can see the contemporary application of Your permanent, unchanging, and eternal truth. Thank You for the marriage I have now. Thank You for the intimacy I have with Kristin, and they protection we have to bond together, physically and spiritually. Be glorified in our marriage commitment. In Jesus's name I pray. Amen.